I know that posting something moronic from Conservapedia is akin to optimizing embarrassingly parallel code, but this was too hard to resist. It’s ok though. Whiskey, writing a talk for March Meeting, and the terribly early hour may have numbed my brain enough to turn this into a difficult task.
![Only very rarely do I ever wish that I was this stupid. The world probably looks really nice that way. Only very rarely do I ever wish that I was this stupid.](http://retardedpotential.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Conservapedia.png)
This came from Conservapedia. If you want to look at it for yourself, Google it, and go there. I refuse to generate extra web traffic for them.
Those darned stupid atheists and their incorrect “science!” Â When will they ever learn? Â Well, judging by the links that they provide, a good conservative who reads all of the sources that he’s presented with will notice at least one of the following:
- Atheists harbor widely held and supported scientific views
- The Japan earthquake didn’t happen on a major fault line
- Two (TWO!) sources support this claim!
- The moderators are so interested in your proper education that they locked the important threads for unadulterated truthiness.
But when I said “reads all of the sources,” I actually meant reads what that blue text links to. Â Here’s what you find when you follow the links:
- “Reference 15” actually describes the difficulty in predicting exact locations of earthquakes, not the general incorrectness of plate tectonics.
- The “many contradictions” to plate tectonics mentioned — surprise — have nothing to do with confirming anything about Noah’s Flood, continental drift, or the implied failure of the theory. Ironically, this article assesses how the public misinterprets the role of continental plates in earthquakes quite routinely.  This link only serves to highlight that the Conservapedia author has absolutely no clue what he’s talking about and only wanted  to score karma with The Big Man Above.  Congratulations, Cleatus.  You’ll beat me to the pearly gates, assuming that God doesn’t care about you squandering your gift of intelligence.
Oh, as for point number two:
![Arguing that the earthquake didn't fall exactly on a fault line is about as stupid as thinking that cutting $40M from Planned Parenthood is going to solve the U.S. debt crisis. NASA Plate Map](http://retardedpotential.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/nasa_plate_map.jpg)
Notice that there are fault lines ON JAPAN. For visual clarity, I circled Japan (red+arrows). I have also highlighted the areas (blue+checkmark) that the author incorrectly received passing marks for labling as Japan.
The only reasonable excuse is that the author simply does not know where Japan is located. Â Since it’s probably his opinion (and all opinions are equally valid) that it didn’t happen along a fault, it probably didn’t, and nobody should question it. Â Questioning opinions is just offensive, and you’re a bad person if you do it.
There’s another possibility. Â Because “Science” is Anathema Incarnate, NASA, by its very nature as a scientific research body is inherently an atheist organization. Â NASA must be bent on pushing this “theory” that plate tectonics exist, even if it flies in the face of all of the scientific evidence in the Bible. Â That is their job, right? Â Much like Global Warming scientists, they’re just paid to hawk their ideas because they wouldn’t get funding if they were wrong. Â Just to be fair, I’ll pull up this map of seismic activity from a respectable, God-fearing blog. Â This is sure to shed light on the absurdity of “plates”:
Heaven awaits, indeed.